Round the Twist
by Mizzy
Summary: When you hear something and don’t know the entire story, it can be terribly misconstrued. Implied slash and multiple pairings. Implied Harry/Draco/Ron/Hermione/Seamus; Percy/Oliver; Harry/Draco.
1. Left Foot, Green

**['Round the Twist]**

[Part One - "_Left Foot, Green_"]

Author: Mizzy 

E-mail: mizzy_2k@yahoo.co.uk 

Rating: R 

Homepage: http://mizzy.deep-ice.com 

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

Summary: Have you ever, ever felt like this? When strange things happen, are you going 'round the twist? Don't take everything at face value, now!

-----

Professor McGonagall frowned as she walked down the Transfiguration corridor. There wasn't _normally_ a whole host of students standing outside the third Transfiguration classroom. In fact, there wasn't usually anyone near that classroom on Tuesday afternoons, it was usually empty.

Rolling her eyes, she moved forwards to the group of students and was about to open her mouth when Fred Weasley's head popped out of the crowd of about thirty and grabbed hold of her arm.

'Professor McGonagall, are we glad to see you!' He yanked on her arm and pulled her through the crowd.

'Mr. Weasley—' she started; startled.

'Ssshhhhhh! Please! Just come listen to this!' Fred added in a low whisper. Befuddled, Professor McGonagall ordered the students to move back and she cast a spell on the door so they could hear what was going on without having to crowd around the door.

'We think Harry, Hermione, Ron, Seamus and _Malfoy_ are in there,' George offered. Professor McGonagall silenced him with a glance and proceeded to listen to what was going on.

'Just shift a bit to the left, 'Mione,' Ron was heard complaining.

'I can't!' Hermione countered. 'Unless ferret boy moves his arms.'

'Hey! I thought we were supposed to be nice, considering!' Draco protested.

'Come on, guys, calm down! For me?' Harry pleaded.

'Time for a new position guys,' Seamus called out. A small whooshing sound was heard.

'Oh, great,' Ron complained.

'Is that even possible?' Hermione gasped.

'Sure,' Draco replied; irritated. 'Look, Ron, move your arm _there_. Harry, if you bend your legs a little further back and lift your hips up, then that means Hermione can slide under there and then Harry can move his—'

'I've done this before, Draco,' Harry interrupted. 'Push up a little. I can't move.'

'Do I have to tell you how hilarious that looks?' Seamus asked; laughing.

'I don't see you trying,' Ron snapped.

'Next one!' Seamus laughed again.

'There's no way I can do that!' Hermione laughed. 'Ron... Just arch up a little! Let me out!'

A few grunts were heard.

'OK, I'm out, thanks,' Hermione said.

'I don't know if we can all manage this one,' Ron said semi-apologetically.

'Sure we can,' Harry said. 'Draco, lift your foot over here. Spread your legs and then I can get in.'

'It's not going to get through!' Draco complained.

'Just push,' Harry protested.

'Ouch!' Ron complained. 'That was _me_ you kicked!'

'Oooof... What's next Seamus?' Draco asked.

'This one!' Seamus instructed.

'You've got to be kidding!' Ron moaned. 'I'm too tired to carry on now.'

'We can't quit until we get this right! I know it seems impossible but there has to be a way to make it work, all the mechanics of it should be easy enough!' Draco said.

'Look, guys, Harry should be able to do it first,' Hermione interjected.

'How?' Harry asked. 'It's not like I've tried anything like that move before.'

'_Now_ he tells us,' Draco complained.

'Harry, just move upwards a little, twist and it might hit the right spot,' Hermione suggested. 'That would leave Ron and Malf- Draco free to move!'

There were a few more grunts, then a weird sound and Hermione let out a little squeal of laughter.

'Oh dearie me...' Hermione laughed again.

'It's not funny,' Ron said grouchily. 'It hurts!'

'Something burst, I think,' Harry said doubtfully.

'Oh no,' Seamus exclaimed.

'He's right, something white's spewing out of it,' Draco said fearfully. 'Harry, get off me a second.'

'Fine,' Harry ground out.

'It's gone all floppy,' Draco announced. 'I think you killed it, Ron.'

Outside, Professor McGonagall had heard more than enough. She ordered the students to leave and everyone apart from the Weasley twins complied. She frowned, knowing the type of rumours that would be flying around; the type of rumour that she wouldn't have believed if she hadn't been there. She blanched. This time she'd heard the truth with her own ears, and she knew expulsion was in order.

She lifted her wand, and with the Weasley twins flanking her she burst open the door. Especially considering the sight they expected, the sight that met their eyes completely surprised them.

Seamus was sitting on the edge of a desk clutching a square of card, Hermione was clutching her sides in laughter, Ron was levitating feathers off the ground, Harry was clutching a white plastic sheet covered in multi-coloured circles and Draco was bent over a clearly ruined mattress. All five didn't have their robes on but they _did_ have their school uniforms on still, the complete opposite of what they expected.

'What on earth is going on here?!' Professor McGonagall asked, perplexed.

Five heads to turn and stare wordlessly at the Professor and the now-chuckling twins. Seamus gasped as he realised what the teacher and twins had _thought_ they were up to, gasped, and threw the card onto the floor; revealing that it was a type of spinner.

'That's the _last_ time I play Twister with you guys ever again!' Seamus yelled, stomping out of the classroom with an indignant flush colouring his face.

Professor McGonagall watched him go, starting to blush. Her mouth opened in shock.

'TWISTER???!!!!!!' 


	2. Twisting Around Again

**['Round the Twist]**

[Part Two - "_Twisting Around Again_"]

Author: Mizzy 

E-mail: mizzy_2k@yahoo.co.uk 

Rating: R 

Homepage: http://mizzy.deep-ice.com 

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. 

Summary: Have you ever, ever felt like this? When strange things happen, are you going 'round the twist? Don't take everything at face value, now!

Dedicated: to Savannah, the elitist of all stoats, and the chipmunk wench of the world.

-----

"…so you see, Professor, that's all we were doing." 

Professor Dumbledore nodded, his eyes twinkling as he listened to the explanation. 

"And why didn't you do it in the common room?" 

Seamus sighed, looking quite red. "Because we had _him _with us," the Irish wizard said; jerking his head in Draco's direction. The blond pouted. 

"Hey, I have a name too, you know," Draco protested instantly. 

"What I don't get is the mattress," Professor McGonagall broke in. 

"Well," Draco said slowly. "I suggested it." 

Professor Dumbledore's voice cut through the embarassing silence. "_You_ suggested the mattress Mr. Malfoy?" 

"Yes," Draco snapped, defensive. "The floor was hard and cold, and anyway I'm not getting any younger you know." 

Dumbledore raised one eyebrow slowly at Draco, and the blond just toed the ground with his foot. 

"It was just a getting-to-know-each-other exercise," Harry pointed out helpfully. 

Hermione, Ron and Seamus just stared, horrified, at Harry.

"That," Ron said sourly, "doesn't help our case much, Harry." 

-------- 

"Look, I don't care what the twins say, that _proves_ it was something sordid," Dean Thomas hissed to Ginny Weasley as they along with Neville Longbottom pelted away from Dumbledore's office. It had been Neville's timid suggestion that they eavesdrop on the whole thing and from the sick expressions on their faces any passer-by could tell what they'd heard was not a good thing. 

"I should go see Percy," Ginny said, after a fretful moment. They slowed down and stopped near the Transfiguration classrooms the whole incident had begun in to listen to Ginny. "He'll know what to do."

"Percy?" Neville repeated dully. "Why? He's miles away!"

"Keep up with the times, Longbum," Dean teased, shaking his head disapprovingly at Neville. "The Halloween feast. Some ex-students are here to _entertain _us." 

"Entertain us?" Neville stuttered. Ginny glowered at him.

"Come on, Percy's got a room near the Potion Labs. Oliver Wood should be there too, maybe he'll have some handy advice too," Ginny said.

Ginny picked up her robes and started pelting along the corridors down to the Potions area, and Dean and Neville just exchanged a glance before following her. 

----- 

They slowed down near the entrance to the Potions Labs to catch their breaths. Dean then pushed open the large wooden door leading to the narrow corridor, and they padded down the corridor gently, hoping not to run into Professor Snape. _That _wasn't the most practical thing to happen at any time. 

"This way," Ginny said, indicating a small off-shoot that led away further down into the dungeons.

"Are you sure?" Neville asked. He really didn't like the dark, at all, and it was merely the presence of his room mates that stopped him from putting up the nightlight Charm his grandmother had taught him at nighttimes. 

"Of course I'm sure!" Ginny stared at Neville, scandalised, for a moment. She looked at Dean and Dean nodded in understanding. Each grabbing hold of a sleeve, they dragged the protesting Neville down the darkened corridors lit by flickering torches. 

"I can hear voices!" Dean muttered excitedly.

"Go see a shrink," Neville replied, bitterly. 

"_Neville_ --" Dean started, his eyes narrowed furiously.

"Boys, shush! This is the room, " Ginny said, rolling her eyes to the ceiling as Dean glowered furiously at Neville.

"Should we knock?" Neville asked fearfully. 

"No, let's listen first to make sure it's just Percy and Oliver and that the twins aren't there already," Dean suggested. 

"Are you sure that's safe?" Ginny asked with a giggle, but Dean and Neville had already pressed their ears up against the door and were listening intently. "Ah well," she said with a sigh, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." 

----- 

"_Percy_, one of these is definitely bigger than the other." That was Oliver, it had to be. His voice was plaintive as he complained loudly to Percy. There was a sigh, which they presumed must have come from Percy. 

"They should be the same size," Percy replied doubtfully. "Mine are. I could get them out for you..."

"I know that," Oliver snapped. "Come over here and feel mine."

There was a shuffling sound, and a small surprised gasp. "I say, one _is _bigger than the other. Well, you'll just have to live with it, or we can go see Professor McGonagall," Percy said.

"Oh, right." Oliver's voice sounded thick with irritation. "What am I going to tell her? That I can't perform because one of my balls is bigger than it's supposed to be?" 

----- 

Ginny covered up her ears in horror and moved backwards; not even reacting as her back slammed into the cold stone wall of the dungeons and flinching as she realised she could still hear them. Neville and Dean kept listening by the door. 

-----

"Don't be silly," Percy said, sounding amused. "Try squeezing them together or something."  
  
"I've tried _that_, it's no use," Oliver protested. 

"Well, just try using them," Percy suggested.

There was a soft thump. 

"Ow," Oliver muttered.

"You know, when I suggested you used your balls, I didn't mean for you to bounce them off your _head_," Percy said, laughing. 

----- 

"Argh!"

Dean and Neville shared a panicked yell and moved backwards, sharply, colliding with the wall like Ginny did. They stared in horror as they heard someone mutter "_what on earth…_" and the door slammed open, to reveal Percy and Oliver, fully dressed, scowling at the disturbance.

"Ginny?" Percy looked flustered, and Ginny stared. Her brother was holding three brightly coloured clubs which she recognised as juggling clubs and Oliver… 

"Juggling balls," Dean breathed, realisation creeping into his tone. "You were talking about juggling balls!" 

"_That _head," Ginny murmured, looking relieved. 

Neville breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Yes. For the Halloween feast tonight," Oliver Wood explained. "Are you three all right?" 

"Uh, yes. Uh, we have, we have to go now," Ginny said quickly, grabbing hold of Neville and Dean by their shoulders and yanking them along with her. 

Percy and Oliver exchanged a slow, incredulous look.  
  
"Uh, Perce, do you think those three…" Oliver made some kind of sordid gesture with his right hand.

Percy flushed. "Oliver, that's my _little sister_ you're making lewd suggestions about." 

"Oops." Oliver wrapped his arms around Percy's waist teasingly. "I wonder what Ginny would say about the lewd suggestions I make to her older brother." 

"Get off me, you daft Quidditch moron, we've got a Feast to prepare for," Percy said, disentangling himself. 

Oliver sighed. 

----- 

"Well we got _that _wrong," Dean remarked as they traipsed up the corridors to get to the Gryffindor common room.

"Yeah," Ginny agreed. 

"Password?" 

Neville blinked at the Fat Lady and fidgeted. "Uh…" 

"Happy Halloween," Dean muttered, and the portrait swung open to reveal the round porthole entrance to the common room. The three scrambled through to a deserted common room. 

"Wonder where everyone is," Ginny murmured, heading over to the fireplace. A thumping sound near the edge of the room, near the large storage cupboards, made all three Gryffindors jump as if stung. 

"What on _earth_--" Dean started, confused, but none of them had the chance to investigate further as three people emerged from the staircase. 

"Hermione! Ron! Seamus!" Ginny leapt off the settee near the fireplace and ran over to greet her brother and his friends. "Uh -- where've you been?" 

"We've been to see the Headmaster," Seamus said with a grimace, yanking a box forwards from behind his back. "Trying to explain why we were playing Twister in the Transfiguration classrooms." 

"Oh! So… So you weren't --" Neville started awkwardly, a guilty look on his face. 

Hermione coloured. "No! No, we weren't. We were just playing a muggle game!"

"And the whole school now thinks we're perverts," Ron added miserably.  
  
"Why _was _Malfoy there?" Dean asked, reasonably enough.

"Well --" Hermione started, then stopped as another soft thump filled the room. "What's that sound?" She asked instead. 

"I don't know," Ginny replied. "I heard it a minute or so before you came down."

"It sounds like it's coming from over here," Neville offered, crossing to the storage cupboards. Dean, Ginny, Ron, Hermione and Seamus padded cautiously over to the area. 

"Nnnhhh…" 

All six jumped backwards in shock as a soft moan issued from one of the cupboards. 

"_Harry_… Oh god…"

Hermione looked up, her face pale. "That sounds like Draco…" 

"_Shush, Draco, anyone might be --_"  
  
"And that sounds like Harry," Ron added, just as shaken. 

"Wait, wait, wait," Dean said. "It can't be anything bad." 

Another moan came from the middle cupboard, and the cupboard shook a little. 

"I don't know what else it could be!" Seamus said, looking panicked. 

A groan came from the cupboard, followed by a gasp and a curious banging sound.

"Well, it can't be. This is about the fourth time today we've heard something dodgy without knowing what it is, and each time it's been something perfectly innocent," Ginny said, moving forwards and grabbing hold of the handle. "I'm sure it's not --"

She jerked the door open.

Out tumbled Harry and Draco, in a state of undress that made all six turn around in horror. 

"Oh my virgin eyes!" Ginny wailed, covering her eyes and sobbing into Ron's shoulder.

"That's why Draco was there!" Hermione crowed triumphantly. 

"Uh…." Harry said, in way of explanation.

"Hi?" Draco tried, scrambling up and quickly trying to cover his modesty. 

"Hi yourself," Neville said weakly. 

"You know what?" Dean asked rhetorically. "My mother was right after all. Assumption _is _the mother of all fuck ups." 

"Your mother," Seamus said flatly, turning around to curiously peek at Harry and Draco again, "is a genius." 

Neville frowned and picked up the Twister box. Seamus had dropped it in his… uh… shock.

"Anyone fancy a game of Twister?" Neville asked brightly, his round face beaming.

Seamus pounced on Neville, wrapping his arms around his neck, and the others (including a now dressed Harry and Draco) leapt on them to pull them apart. Ginny had her hands clamped on Neville's shoulder when Neville managed to twist until Seamus was underneath him. Dean got tripped up in the madness, Hermione was pulling away because Ron's foot was in her face, Harry had his arm trapped under Seamus' leg, Draco was stuck between Ron and Hermione, and Neville was somehow upside down with his legs in the air as the whole thing degenerated into a big dog fight. 

No one was surprised by the timing of the portrait swinging open and a whole host of Gryffindors trooped in. 

"What the _hell_?" Colin Creevey shrieked.

The pile of Gryffindors (plus one Slytherin. We mustn't forget Draco after all) untangled themselves sheepishly and fidgeted as the others stared at them in horror. Seamus grabbed hold of the forgotten Twister box.

"Anyone up for a game of Twister?" 

"SEAAAAAAMMMMMMUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!" 

The six Gryffindors (plus one Slytherin) sat by Seamus abruptly sat on him, and that was the end of the Twister escapades as chronicled in the undisclosed Gryffindor Secret Archives. Ah, but dear readers, do not be disappointed, for three weeks later Virginia "Ginny" Weasley discovered Monopoly and that… _that _was a much funnier tale… Until Dumbledore joined in. And that's why that tale, rather than this shameless debacle, will remain the silent one. 

Small mercies, my friends, we must be thankful for them, for that may be all we have. That and a rather battered cupboard of board games. Twister, anyone? 

_Signed, _

**D. Creevey, official GSA archivist.**


End file.
